Sending off Simoebic Dysentery, preparing Wholesale Hero

That's right, King Thor and I have kind of half-assedly assembled Simoebic Dysentery in preparation for a run at the GameStop Indie Game Challenge, which is by far the most mysterious contest boasting a $100,000 prize I've ever seen. The rules range from inane to nonexistent; for example they define an age range for contestants but never mention how far into beta/production they want this damned game, and they provide special rules for iPhone games yet not for any other platform... I hate to be a curmudgeon, but designing a complete working game for iPhone is a much different process than designing for something like the Wii -- how the hell are they going to judge one next to the other without categories? And how will they select which is better? Originality? Something that may have an original interface for a platform but has been compiled for PC (another rule that applies to everything but the iPhone) may seem hackish and boring compared to the same game running with the controls for which it was designed (have you ever tried to play Super Mario Bros. with a keyboard? What a pain in the ass. No one would have put money behind something so frustrating... But with a carpal-tunnel inducing controller? Amazing.)
Long story short - I just sent these jokers 100 moist simoleans of my own hard-earned cash so that they can gaze long and hard at the hopefully-seizure-causing, horribly-edited monstrosity of a video that I sent to them in hopes of "them" playing, enjoying and voting for our still-far-from-finished game thing. We don't even know who "they" are, and for all we know the judging will consist of someone installing our game on a virus-ridden 486 running OS2, attaching a monochrome 80-column screen and throwing the whole fucking thing in a gorilla cage with everyone else's terrible virtual LARPing, antelope racing, and zombie hentai games to see which one gets shat on first. Wish us luck!

In other news, Wholesale Hero continues to develop -- I've got a ton of new features, including live updating to the Mojiferous Industries website, multiple different game options, and some added bonus blocks for both the manufacturing and shipping phases. There is still a whole lot of work to be done, but maybe, just maybe, I'll run the damn thing for some other contest coming up... However, I do need beta testers for the damned thing -- so anyone willing to spend a little time with what amounts to Motor Pants Double-Plus Size, just shoot me a line.

--Admiral Mojiferous J. Colossus